Two Steps Back
by Candelle
Summary: It was like a sick, twisted game of hide and seek. No matter how far away you go, and how well you disguise yourself, you always get found. But never before has a game been so painfully impossible to win.
1. Prologue

PROLOGUE

I could feel the eyes on me now.  
I turned in every direction, desperate to catch sight of my attacker. But I should have known that my dreary eyes would not catch the creature. Everything was in slow motion for me, ever since Edward left.  
It was easier for me to think of his name now that I had accepted the fact that I was dying. Now I wanted to scream out his name, hope that he cared enough to help me now. But Fate had turned against me. It wasn't over since Edward first saw me, as he liked to think- no, the game hadn't even started until I entered this dreary city. The thought was horrendous. I couldn't even remember where I was.  
If I had just stayed in Forks with Charlie, I would be safe right now. I'd know if the Cullens returned to their lonely little house on the outskirts of the rainy town. _I would be safe right now_.

And suddenly, it was over.  
I had lost this little game called _life_.

**AN- Alright, new story.  
You only need to be about... Two or three chapters into New Moon to read this story. Reviews would be nice, and they are encouraging, but I know that there isn't much to comment on.  
Thanks guys.**


	2. Musing

"_I remember brown eyes, so sad in blue skies…"_

MUSING

It was the worst day of my life. The pinnacle point between never-ending misery, and never-ending misery. But the emotion was varied in this twisted little seesaw. One option was the amazingly horrendous thought of leaving the very meaning of my life. It made me feel like my stomach was dropping down lower than it was made to do, a sensation I haven't't felt in the past ninety-something years of my life. Then the other option- spend my time with her, put her in constant danger for my own needs, then live with the weight of knowing that _I_ had been the death of her.  
Selfish.  
I had never thought of myself as selfish before I had met Bella. I never once complained to the family about my worries, not since my rebel years in the earlier time of my new life.  
But she had changed everything about me, for better _and_ worse, all at once. I had the benefit of seeing myself through Carlisle's perception, to know what the world thought of me. And they would think that Bella had completely thrown the usual Edward Cullen violently from his tracks- something I had once deemed impossible. But Alice had long since shown me that things were _never_ set in stone.

Alice was angry with me. I knew it the moment I had finally made my decision to uproot the family from Forks. My mind automatically brought back the look of pure, unenclosed anger glittering in her tawny eyes. But she had no say in my decisions. Bella's involvement with this family was of my doing, and it was my duty to make the decisions having to do with her. It was my duty to ensure her safety. My duty to love her, from whatever distance that was essential to her survival.  
And for her survival, I knew I would have to be where Victoria was. I would try out the little I had figured out about James' gift, and track the redhead down and remove the problem. Then I would retreat as far away as possible from my love.

Just what I was doing now. I was running, running hard. I didn't want to see Bella's reaction, didn't want to see what she did when she got home. Would she call someone, tell them the secrets of my family? I doubted it, but I knew not to assume when it came to Bella's judgment. I refused to think of the disbelief, the deceit, and the pain in my love's eyes as I made my final request. It was not fair to ask her to do something for me, in my time of disloyalty, but it was all I could ever hope for Bella. Be safe, be loved.  
And when it came to where she had to be loved and protected by someone other than me, I took the plunge.

I really liked to think that I was not being disloyal, but as tuned in as possible. To go against everything I know, for Bella's own good. I believe that my loyalty was the thing that only a skilled, passionate writer could come up with for their characters. Alice had done almost everything in her power to change my decision, even going as far to attempt at dreaming up false visions of Bella being curled up and alone in the woods.  
Even though I was tempted to go back and make sure she was alright, I couldn't now. I told Alice to rid Bella from her thoughts.

I refused to let this family continue the dreadful hold we had on the girl.

Bella needed to be normal, to have a family, and live her life. Bella needed to be normal, to have a family, and live her life. Need to be normal, have family, live life. Bella. Normal. Family. Live.  
_Life_.  
I recited those words to myself as a chaotic mantra on my way out of Forks. I could barely remember which way I was going. Our family was going to stay in another one of our houses, on the other side of the family. Not like I would be staying there long.  
I wasn't going to try to keep up with them. I was already starting to feel the side effects of my horrid decision, almost welcoming the depression growing rapidly through me. Hunting Victoria was only going to be an attempted distraction.  
But Bella was something I could never be fully distracted from.

Back at the house, Alice was worse than angry.  
As 'freaks among freaks', we were the closest, if not to count for the couples. We were so much more than siblings. We were each other's secret keepers, best friends. And coming home to see her turn her back and flit away was almost too much for me to bear.  
_It's almost funny, how you've no idea to how you've just destroyed this family's happiness._ She thought at me venomously before her thoughts were turned to Jasper. I sighed, and very nearly turned straight back around to start my search early. But I knew that it would only further scar my connection with the family.

I walked quietly along, through the maze of hallways in this unfamiliar house. I let my fingers run along the cool walls as I passed, searching out Carlisle. Even though I had already made my decision, I wanted to run through ideas for tracking Victoria with him first, but it looked like he wasn't anywhere in the house, and neither was Esme. New plan- talk to Rosalie?

It was five to two in the decision to leave Forks- of course Rosalie was in on it. I let out a small growl, knowing that her reasons and my own reasons for departure were on complete opposite sides of the spectrum. I rolled my eyes and searched for her thoughts. But there were no vanity-based critiques anywhere in the house. Emmett was missing too.

I had come back to no one but Alice and Jasper, who were both mad at me, though I knew Jasper only had an opinion because Alice felt so strongly. I growled and kicked over a table, hearing a smash behind me. I didn't bother to look for the source. I nearly ran through the house, gathering up a small bag of clothes, my mother's jewelry box, my favorite CDs, and my phone.

"I'm leaving. Don't miss me." I yelled, knowing damn well that they would have heard me if I had just whispered. I slammed the door behind me, feeling some waves of calm tugging at my mind, but I fought them off systematically. I heard Alice's worried thoughts as she started to get up, and I quickly closed the distance to my car, getting in and starting it almost simultaneously. Then I was driving away from the house, reaching 90 MPH before I hit the main street.

**AN- If you haven't realized yet, this was from Edward's point of view, following their little 'talk' in the woods that would pretty much destroy Bella's life... Of course Edward is too stubborn to realize that Alice's visions _were_ true.  
Sorry for not updating, but hey, here's my little holiday gift basket for anyone who is reading my story. Now if we could get some lovely people to leave some reviews as presents, my holidays would be complete.**


	3. Moving

Forks was a dangerous place, these days.

I guess it would be painful for me wherever I went, but it was here that all the memories were, constantly nagging and plotting mental attacks on me. It was like a small, slightly sadistic child, laughing and pointing things out, like 'remember that time Edward took you there?', or 'that looks like his meadow. Remember it?'

I tried to spend most of my time up in my room, simply laying on my bed. My fingernails ached from my latest attempt at ridding myself of any memory (the stereo from my truck), as the repetitive, drawling phrase of "Go fish" echoed up to me; Renee's latest attempt of playing nice with Charlie, and a little diversion to the fact that she was out of the sun and back in her least favorite town, with her least favorite person and a catatonic child for company.

Charlie, being the _doting_ father he was, decided it would be great for me to have my mother back in town, but it seemed that the two couldn't get along, even to take care of me. I was mostly left in the dust as the two squabbled over the most obscene things, each conversation resembling another World War. It was hard for me to think that I was the reason the two had to deal with each other, but those thoughts never lasted long, as I had a strict no-thinking policy. No thought process. No memory. No thoughts.

_Ever_.

But as another day closed to an end, I stared out at the sky as it slowly darkened from one of the rare sunny Fork days. Renee had gone out today, ecstatic from the chance to see some true light, and I wasn't caught off guard as she suddenly burst into my room, a huge smile on her face, her brown eyes shining and laugh lines making themselves prominent.

"Pack your things, Bella honey. You're going to Mexico!"  
That is, I wasn't caught off guard until Renee came up with this little story.

_I think not. _"But _why_? Why now?" I asked her, standing up. It was like someone had lit a fuse inside of me, and I was suddenly a speaking creature now. The outburst made Renee stop in her tracks for a moment, her face resembling a person's as they wondered if they were in the right room. But it was hard to render my mother to speechlessness for long.

"Phil has a break in his schedule, and we _all_" –a significant glance at Charlie, who was lingering sheepishly in the doorway- "decided that it would be good… you know, for you."  
To say the least, I didn't like the way she put that. I leapt up from my bed, almost missing the downright alarmed look Charlie gave off as he watched me, and a small little gasp from Renee as she recovered from the most movement I had emitted since my birthday.  
"No! Why, I _like_ it here in Forks! I need to stay with Dad!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up in the air. Charlie moved to my closet, retrieving some suitcases and setting them at the foot of my bed. I shot around the furniture, and proceeded to attempt pinning his arms to his sides. But he was not Chief of Police for nothing- he soon shook me off and had moved two masses of rough cloth out of the closet, my makeshift bags. I shook my head blindly, tears moving to my eyes. I snatched the bags and threw them back in the direction of my closet, before rounding on my parents.

"But Bella, _Mexico_." Renee insisted, reaching her arm out to me. I turned away.  
"It's sunny there." _Way to point out the obvious, Charlie. Another _great _reason to stay here._

"It doesn't matter." I insisted, blocking the way as Charlie moved to get the bags again.  
"Forks is no place for you to be. It's time you _moved on._" Renee suggested. I shook my head, tears flying from my face.

Who was she to tell me when to move on? _He_ was _everything_. The hole in my chest ripped wide open, but I fought the depression off of me and focused the energy to spike up my anger. This was a time to fight.  
"Move on? I'm doing great. I'll try harder. Just _leave me here_. What about my friends?" I scraped at any excuse to stay.

"Bella, if you tried any harder you might combust. And you haven't spoken to your friends in a long time, Bells." Charlie said.  
"I talked to Angela and Mike just last Friday at lunch." I shot back.  
"Then when was the last time Angela was here?" Renee nearly screeched, standing up as well. I was taller than her.

"She's been busy. She has a life too." I mumbled, but I knew that I was losing this battle.

"Well I can only pray it's better than yours in this godforsaken town. We're leaving tomorrow night." Renee said, and strutted out of the room, followed by a hunched-up Charlie.

"I'm staying here." I mumbled, but I was at least _together_ enough to know that there was no getting out of this one.

------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------

The next day around noon, Renee dressed me up and dragged me down for my last lunch in Forks. Charlie and Renee sat as far away from each other as possible, and I sat miserably in the middle. Charlie appeared to be choking up from sorrow for my departure, and I was nearly there as well. Renee chewed merrily on a piece of carrot.

"I'll miss you." Charlie offered. It sounded like a question.

"Yeah. Me too." I murmured, not sure if I was saying I would miss Charlie, or I would miss my old life, _myself_. Then it was quiet for a long time. I was once alright with the silent meals Charlie and I shared, but when it was quiet with Renee at the table… That meant things were just plain awkward. But she eventually cracked, holding up her glass in a toast.

"Here's to moving!" She exclaimed, and I could swear, that as she gave me a quick look, she quietly muttered the word 'on'.

------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------

Mexico is a dreadful place. The sun is horribly hot on my skin, turning it red from a prolonged exposure to it. I was stiff and sore from helping Renee and Phil move boxes and bags around, and my throat was tight from my frequent crying outbursts. I could hardly remember the time I had longed for such sunny and hot climate, though wishing after it just seemed ridiculous now. The streets were filled with cars, windows down. There was no music in the streets- just rap and hip-hop crap. Eventually I would recognize a song from driving around with Jessica way back when, and found that I even met her and her highly permeable blond parter-in-crime. I missed Mike, the speaking version of a golden retriever. I missed Mr. Varner and his boring classes.

Now, looking back, I couldn't remember what there ever was to _not _like about Forks, a detail I held with great horror- if it was something I missed enough to completely miss it unconditionally through rain and sleet and snow, then I must be broken. Renee had broke me. She used to be my equal, my best friend, but now my only company was Mr. Darcy as I re-read _Pride and Prejudice _for what must have been the fiftieth time. It seemed that a conclusion to the life I was currently in didn't require that much thinking; it was hardly a sentence.

**I need to get out of here.**


	4. ANNOUNCEMENT

**Okay guys. I know you all must hate me for abandoning my stories, as a number of you have expressed your interest in each. But seeing as I am no longer in possession of free time, I am going to be handing my stories over to my good friend Krixteenee, seeing as she helped me with plot lines and such from the start anyway. Knowing her, she will probably re-write them, and clear up some things that caused confusion in the past. I will be verifying any changes she may make to them, so no need to flame her if you feel like she's manipulating my stories. I want to thank you all for your support, and be on the lookout for me in author's notes for Exact Delirium and Two Steps Back.**

**Thank you all, and bear in mind that the removal of these stories from this account will happen in a week or two week's time.**


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